seeing someone from school in public
when distant relatives try to kiss you
*eats 1,000 oranges* its fruit i won’t gain weight
An orange is approximately 87 calories. If you were to eat 1,000 oranges that would be 87,000 calories.
its fruit i wont gain weight
sidechick: did u see the pic?
me: what pic?
sidechick: the one of us I put on insta
So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT
But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut.
but what did your driving instructor say
WHAT DID HE SAY
THIS IS NOT A FUN CLIFFHANGER
152,000 people want to know what your teacher responded.
"Curing AIDS? Shit, that’s like Cadillac making a car that lasts for 50 years. And you know they can do it, but they ain’t going to do nothing that fucking dumb. Shit, they got metal on the Space Shuttle that can go around the Moon and withstand temperatures of up to 20,000 degrees, you mean to tell me you don’t think they can make an El Dorado with a fuckin’ bumper that don’t fall off?"
- Chris Rock (“Bigger and Blacker”, 1999)